The Answer to the Wait

As I have posted in the past (here), I was in a time of waiting. It was a hard valley and a dark time for me. I am still in a waiting period, but I am no longer waiting for an answer. I am waiting to start a new journey God is leading and directing my family towards. I have a renewed hope He has something in store for me.

Many times I have heard pastors and teachers and speakers say God answers prayer with a yes or a no or wait. A couple of years ago now I entered into what seemed like a long time of waiting. I thought God would answer my pleas with a certain amount of relief and vindication for the pain and suffering I felt during this time. My meditation was on Psalm 40 where David sings about God lifting him out of the pit of despair and giving him a new song. When the answer to the wait came I felt no song, I felt no vindication, I felt no relief. I felt let down and sad. The answer looked nothing like what I hoped and longed for all those long months. During the wait I was asked several times what I learned through the situation. I did gain more life experience and prayerfully some life wisdom, but I truly had a hard time coming up with some learning points while still in the middle of what was a dark period for me. I now have an answer to the wait and have had some time to process. Here are some of my initial takeaways:

1. Leadership can be very lonely.
2. God is Sovereign: not in that He dictates peoples actions (people can grieve His Spirit), but that “God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God” Romans 8:28. God is making a wonderful masterpiece even out of the hard and evil sufferings of this life.
3. Jeremy and I grew stronger in our marriage. I think he is a lot closer to understanding the hardships of being a women in certain cultural contexts I happen to navigate through daily. We have nailed down some of our marital objectives and identity. I am praying we can start a new course in this area.
4. Even though I was not fully able to use my gifts in this season I am now confident God can empower me and use me. He has gifted me with the ability of teaching His Word! I am truly humbled.
5. God used this period of time to grow and train Jeremy and me in ways we would never have thought possible if we had not gone through this valley.
6. All things will be sorted at the Bema (II Cor 5:9-10). Now is the time to steward what God has given me.

Here is my meditation as I enter this new season and I leave with you:

Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit

Romans 15:13

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